There have been a few of those over the past couple of weeks. I haven't been handling stress well lately for some reason, and it has manifested itself my being irritable around those people that mean the most to me. I feel badly about that. By writing about it here, I guess I'm admitting that I am no different than anyone else in that I experience periods of human weakness.
Over the past few weeks, Martha has had surgery to repair a problem with one of her knees and has had to deal with complications, my mother's condition continues to deteriorate steadily, and we found out earlier this week that the property our house is on is being targeted for development into a commercial property. This means we will have to find another place to live in the near future.
The stress of all of this, plus the worries I have about upcoming changes that I know are coming, have had a cumulative effect. They have made me somewhat difficult to be around. I didn't really recognize that until it was pointed out to me. It gave me some things to think about.
Recently I heard about a young man who makes the likes of someone like me realize that whatever my problems are, they pale in comparison to what he deals with. His name is Shane Burcaw. He is 21 years old. He deals with a form of Muscular Dystrophy known as Spinal Muscle Atrophy. It has made him wheelchair bound since age 2. But it has not stopped him. He has a wonderful family, great friends, and he has a life that is probably more full than most other people. Ultimately, I suspect this condition will kill him; many with MD do not have long life spans because the muscles that control respiration fail. But he continues. And if he is able to move forward with the challenges he faces every day, then I have absolutely nothing to bitch about.
Since it's not going away anytime soon, I guess I need to figure out what to do with the stress I'm carrying around. I can let it eat me alive, or I can manage it. I've seen what it can do to people who lose control of it: they die. I'm not ready for that yet. So I suppose it's time to take control of it.
I can do that.