Friday, August 22, 2014

The Bounce

Well then. I finally drew up the strength to write this post. It has been a challenge this summer, to say the least. It has taken me a while to digest everything I've been working through, but I think I'm finally able to write about it all.

Since the last post I wrote on May 2, a few things have happened that I probably should comment on.  The most significant of these is the passing of my mother. She died on May 5 after a long struggle with her health. She had a lot of stuff going on, some of which I have written about in the past. The most significant thing she had to deal with was dementia.  She was aware of her memory loss for a great deal of time, which was really hard for her as well for us who survive.  By the end of her life, however, her short term memory was pretty much gone.

In addition,  she also had pernicious anemia. By itself this played a huge part in her decline. Over the last year of her life she received a huge amount of transfused blood products.  I suspect this contributed to her demise by the effect it had on her immune system. Plus, she was the victim of her own choices during her life. COPD,  a number of Transient Ischemic Attacks (TIA's) that were likely undiagnosed,  and issues with heart disease probably all associated with her lifelong smoking, were all most certainly contributory.

All of that said, she was incredibly stubborn.  Fiercely independent,  in spite of all of the problems she faced, she lived by herself until about 6 weeks before her death.  My brother Jay found her on her living room floor, the result of a fall.  One of the last things she did before finally leaving her home was to smoke a cigarette.  It would be her last.

When we made my mom's final arrangements,  we were all surprised at the number of people who came to her funeral. But that in itself was a testament to how much people cared about her. She was a good person, a great mother, and a wonderful friend to many. And I miss her.

Another significant event was dropping one of my jobs. I no longer work for Cataldo Ambulance. My last shift there was Saturday,  August 9. It was time to go - after 6 years there I had enough. The main reason I left was because I wanted to spend more time with my family. Not having Saturday available to me was really starting to wear me down. Plus, the resources that were unavailable during  Saturdays and not being able to get anything done was becoming frustrating.  I think the straw that broke the camel's back was the Saturday three weeks before my last. Too much happening that day as well as dealing with people who were just making my life really difficult.  I simply hit my personal wall. At that point it became clear that it was time to go.

So now I have Saturdays back. The first one was spent with Martha and with my granddaughter Peyton. Great day in Boston. Tomorrow may be a beach day, weather permitting.  I look forward to many more.

On that, time to sign off. I will do my best to write more. Maybe now I'll be able to.

1 comment:

Elizabeth @ The Garden Window said...

Walt, it is so important to acknowledge that you have reached a personal Tipping Point and that you sorely need to be able to have quality time with your family and get essential things done without having to constantly jump through hoops.

I hope you enjoy your Saturdays :-)