Monday, May 04, 2009

Test Results

This is pretty sick, but it is extremely funny...

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bob says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor..'
'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies. 'There's a diagnostic computer down at
Wal-Mart . Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs $10 - A lot cheaper than a doctor.'

So, Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
10 seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:


'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in 2 weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.'

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Bob hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits $10, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is  too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

5 comments:

Karen Brook Westhaver said...

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!! Truly can finally use that phrase LMAOROTFL --- thanks Walt, for the much needed levity for the day. Now...if we only knew which WalMart had that machine.... :-)

Laura said...

Couldn't stop laughing. You sure made my day brighter. What if you get all that from a machine? Think how that would change life forever. No hour waiting at the doctors office only to be dupped into taking more meds.

Anonymous said...

I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

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Walt Trachim said...

Thank you for the kind words!

I checked out yours as well - very cool stuff. And I'll be making it a point to look in regularly.

Also - you made the blogroll. :)

Tony said...

Too funny!