I often find myself reflecting on this subject - at least once a year. And it only happens because of the difficulty that seems to be present. When it does, I am fully aware of the weight it adds to me. Figuratively, of course. And I am certainly not the only person who has trouble during the holiday season. It's a hard time of year for many people.
Two days ago - Tuesday - was an especially difficult day for no apparent reason. I got up, went to work, and proceeded to find myself feeling as though I'd been grated by sand paper. I don't know another way of describing the feeling, but there it is. Plus, I was feeling depressed. Really sad. It occurred to me that part of the reason for this was that I have had a tough time during the holidays. Between working a lot of hours, the stress that comes with the schedule I keep, and the needs of my family, it had added up. Not to mention the weather; really wet and gloomy.
Fortunately, I have good friends. I commented on my state of mind on social media, and a number of people responded with words of encouragement and support. I am grateful for that. And I certainly won't forget it. Yesterday was a much better day, and right now I am entering the home stretch - two hours left of a ten hour shift in the Emergency Department. The night watch. Little bursts of activity on a given overnight, but not so much this past overnight. I have had much, much worse.
Today? I am working tonight at the firehouse. After I get through with this shift I am going to go home and try to sleep for a while. Friday I am working the second of two 24 hour shifts for the week. And I am off for the weekend. Hopefully I will be able to get whatever stuff that needs to be done completed. The only thing that will be challenging will be Monday, December 22. That would have been my mother's eighty-third birthday. But I will get through that.